The reality began to hit me this past week. No sports. No high school sports, no D-Backs, no NCAA, no NHL, no NBA, no anything! What’s a sportswriter to do?
I soon found myself going through sports withdrawal. I began to sweat. My face turned red. I started to panic. My blood pressure soared. I went for my stash of medical marijuana, and then remembered I don’t use medical marijuana. I reached for the bottle, only to remember I don’t drink.
I ran around my apartment screaming. I then slumped into the easy chair in my living room, a broken man. No sports! My purpose for living was gone! What was I going to do? How would I survive?
Fortunately, I had an emergency therapist on hand. As I slumped in the chair, a pitiful example of a man, I heard a little voice say, “meow.” The next thing I knew, my cat Misty had jumped onto my lap for a therapeutic purring session. My petting her also made me relaxed and feel better. As I calmed down, I knew everything was going to be alright.
Maybe it’s not so bad to for me take a little break from sports. I think I’ve been covering high school sports in this area too long. I have two examples that prove that. The first is I growl or cringe when I hear the words, “Yuma Catholic.” The second is when I see Michael Moore wearing a Michigan State Spartans cap and wonder why he’s wearing a Salome Frogs cap.
I’m reminded of a storyline in the “Tank McNamara” comic strip from the 1970s. There was a general sports strike of all the major leagues. One strip showed grown men who were sports fans gathering around two little girls who were playing jacks. They were cheering for them like it was a sports event.
Anyone know of any jacks games going on? How about marbles? I’d start a marbles tournament, but some people tell me I’ve lost my marbles.
Speaking of Yuma Catholic, you can tell what my religious background is because, when I saw their bus at a cross country meet, I wanted to nail 95 Theses to the door (in case you don’t get it, that’s a Lutheran joke.).
Am I making you laugh, or even just smile? If I am, good! We can get through this thing, but we have to do it together and we have to keep our sense of humor. Trust me: laughing make you feel much better than panicking.
So, how do you get your sports fix? The first thing to remember is the business with the coronavirus isn’t the end of the world. Sports will return. The question is what to do in the meantime.
Well, you can watch sports DVDs or read sports books. There are many fascinating things about the world of sports that you’ll only discover when you read books or watch DVDs. There are all kinds of great stories out there just waiting for you to read or watch.
You can also do things like clean your house and garage and play with your kids. You can go fishing or take long walks.
Got any repairs or home maintenance projects you’ve been putting off? Now is the time to do them.
How about getting a sports-related hobby? I’m a model railroader, and I recently completed an HO scale (1:87) boxcar that I decorated for the Diamondbacks. I made my own decals by downloading images off the Internet and printing them onto decal paper on my inkjet printer at home. It was a lot of fun, and I got to express my creativity and my liking for the D-Backs.
I displayed the car as part of a train set I had at the La Paz County Fair. I’ve had several people tell me they really liked the D-Backs’ car.
My point is, get creative when it comes to having no sports to watch. There’s a world of things to do regarding sports that goes way beyond just watching games. You may find you’re having more fun than you ever thought you would.