Here we are, right near the end of 2020. This was the most bizarre baseball season I ever saw, and I hope I never see another one like it. For the Arizona Diamondbacks, it was a major disappointment. The power hitters who became what I called the Arizona Lumber Co. in 2019 became the Arizona Sawdust Co. in 2020.
What’s the point of playing in a hitter’s park like Chase Field if the hitters can’t hit the ball?
If nothing else, baseball is a game of hope. Like the Brooklyn Dodgers’ fans in the 1940s and ‘50s used to say, “Wait ‘til next year!”
With that in mind, I would like to offer my preliminary predictions for the 2021 baseball season.
I predict that, if the 2021 baseball season gets messed up, it will be due to the players and the owners bickering with each other. They’re almost as bad as Congress. I think they’re a bigger threat to the game than the coronavirus could ever be.
I predict the D-Backs will be looking for a new manager after the fiasco the 2020 season was. I’ll bet they’ll be looking for a good motivator. I understand the top candidates are Darth Vader, Negan from “The Walking Dead,” and some fellow with a German accent who has a funny little moustache.
I predict the D-Backs will hire some fellows with dark glasses named Sal, Vinny and Vito to serve as drivers for Madison Bumgarner.
I believe the ballparks will be open to fans in the 2021 season, though there will be social distancing rules in place. Teams that have large ballparks, like the Los Angeles Dodgers and the D-Backs, will actually be glad they have large parks. Some teams, like the Miami Marlins, won’t need to worry about social distancing. They rarely have enough fans show up that they need to practice social distancing.
I believe the President will throw out the first pitch. President Trump didn’t do it because he knew residents of Washington, D.C. don’t like him. It might be different for Joe Biden. I wonder if he’ll be able to find home plate. He’ll probably pitch the ball to second base.
Of course, if, by some miracle (or whatever you want to call it), Trump is handed a second term, he could throw out the first pitch. There won’t be anyone at Nationals Park in D.C. to boo him or throw anything at him. They may be throwing things at him in other places, but not at Nationals Park.
I predict sales of Corona Beer will be low at the ballparks. I can’t imagine why.
All of this is just in fun. What I can say for certain is no one knows for sure what will happen in 2021. It really all depends on how things stand with that nasty little bug. It could be we have a normal season again. On the other hand, it could be even weirder than 2020 was.
I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s possible.
Here’s hoping 2021 is better than 2020.