Peaches to all the memes regarding the Houston Astros’ sign-stealing cheating scandal. They prove Americans can and will laugh at almost anything. One of my favorites suggested the Astros’ should change their name to the “Asterisks.”
Pits to former Astros’ Manager A.J. Hinch. By the accounts I’ve read, he knew about the cheating and didn’t approve of it, but he didn’t do anything about it. I recall he was a bust when he managed the Arizona Diamondbacks. However, he won two American League pennants with the Astros, and the World Series in 2017. Maybe the D-Backs weren’t cheating when he was their skipper.
Pits to those calling for the Astros’ 2017 World Series title and the Boston Red Sox’ 2018 title to be rescinded due to the cheating scandal. We really don’t know how much the cheating helped the Astros, and we still don’t know if the Red Sox were also stealing signs. Besides, it’s one thing to know what pitch is coming. It’s another to actually hit it.
Peaches to the new urgent care facility at La Paz Regional Hospital. It’s nice to have something like that in our community. I know it will get used, but I hope they don’t need to use it too much.
Peaches to everyone who made the skating rink at Western Park a success.
Peaches to every pet who greets his or her owner when they return from work each day. There’s nothing quite like knowing a furry friend is going to be there waiting for you.
Pits to everyone in the impeachment process. We voted for you to represent us and get some work done. We didn’t vote for you to engage in partisan bickering and power plays. They all need to be reminded of who their real bosses are.
Pits to all major league sports franchise owners who whine that they want new stadium and arena facilities at the taxpayers’ expense. Publicly-financed sports arenas are the most egregious examples of corporate welfare in America today.
We want to know: who do you think deserves a peach? How about a pit? Send your ideas to the Parker Pioneer, P.O. Box 3365, Parker, AZ 85344. You can also send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. We won’t print your name if you ask us not to, but we do need your name on any submissions.