I have a wonderful idea. It seems Americans are wondering what to do with all those statues and monuments to Confederate leaders, as well as buildings named after Confederate figures and slave-owners. This is a time of great reckoning with our past, and there seems to be a very strong feeling that anything related to the Confederacy has got to go.
We’re not the only ones dealing with our past. Consider the Russians and all the peace-loving peoples of the former glorious Soviet Union. They have all those statues, busts, trinkets and other kitsch . . . er, glorious memorabilia and items related to Vladimir Lenin, the founder of the Soviet state. It seems like every little village has its own Lenin monument and at least one building named after him.
Here’s my idea: we’ll exchange our Confederate stuff for Russia’s Lenin stuff. They actually have much in common. They both wanted to enslave people, and they both killed many thousands to achieve their ends. White Supremacy is a dumb idea, and so is Communism, which is based on Marxism (that’s Karl Marx, not Groucho).
This would make American leftists happy. They’ve pulled down a lot of statues lately. There’s a statue of Lenin in Seattle, but they haven’t touched him. I guess they must like him. Having a bunch of statues of Lenin around might cure them of their desire to pull down statues. Then again, these characters pulled down statues of Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant, who fought to end slavery in the American Civil War.
Maybe it’s something psychological. They can’t help themselves. They just like to pull down statues. Whatever.
Leftists also like to make heroes of mass murderers even more than the right does. I’ve seen even that paragon of political and racial wokeness, Colin Kaepernick, wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt. Guevara was one of Fidel Castro’s henchmen, and he killed so many people (and he especially hated homosexuals) that he would’ve made the leaders of the Gambino family blush.
Castro is another mass murderer who is a favorite of the left. Ah, but I digress!
I think our trading our Confederate stuff with Russia’s Lenin stuff would be a perfect swap. The only problem I can see is Vladimir Putin might not want to go along with it. From what I hear, he likes Lenin. He seems to be acting more and more like Lenin’s successor, Uncle Joe Stalin. Too bad all the stuff related to Stalin has already been purged.
I believe President Donald Trump should start negotiating to send all our Confederate stuff to Russia right away. It might even help his reelection chances. Maybe he could turn the negotiations over to Ivanka and Jared Kushner. That would give them something useful to do.
Maybe we could change the names of schools in this country. Instead of, say, Robert E. Lee High School or Jefferson Davis Elementary School, we could rename schools that have Confederate names with Lenin’s name instead.
Say, would someone who went to one of those schools be a Lenin Grad? If you name a school after Stalin, that person would be a Stalin Grad.
We could exchange all our Confederate flags for the Soviet flags with the hammer and the sickle. Imagine what a sight they’d be at a NASCAR race.
Here locally, the Le Pera Rebels could become the Le Pera Comrades. Instead of Rebel Bucks, they could have Comrade Rubles. The school motto would change from “Rebels Rise!” to “Workers of the word, unite!”
My apologies to Brian Wedemeyer.
Okay, I admit I’m being silly here. My point is this: destroying statues doesn’t change the fact that the Confederacy is part of American history. We need to know how and why it happened, and how it influences our nation to this day. Instead of destroying monuments and statues, we should remove them from their places of honor and use them to teach Americans what the Confederacy was all about.
That, in fact, is what the Russians and other peoples formerly held in the Soviet Union are doing with all the Lenin statues: teaching children about what the Soviet tyranny was like.
Maybe it’s time we followed their example and used Confederate monuments and statues as teaching tools. Maybe people will actually learn something.